::wilt:: / Wednesday, November 08, 2006
"let's keep it friendly.."it'll be always like that, no, maybe colder. i'm sending emails. to nobody. yes, nobody. it's to the same person's email, i found him, but he isn't replying. he replied once. just once. and the tone, wasn't what i expected. it was something so cold, so distant yet rather/vaguely familiar. i've never seen him. for so long. and inside me, it's crashing, it's pratically wilting. i just want to see him again.
it's painful. it's like something is crashing, but you don't know what it is. i can feel nothing there anymore.
i'm flodding his inbox. and i'm sorry. but it's seriously painful. to keep waiting. every word i type, every email i send. i can cry. because there's a longing. a one-sided longing, perhaps. and i know, it's hurts much more, to send those emails and receiving no replies for over a week. perhaps i'm too anxious. i check my inbox everyday. i make a point, to reply his replies (just once) in a day. but i wait so long. he doesn't care? i need to see him. it's hurting again. so much.
and i did. but i didn't see him. it's fated, we're suppose to keep a long distance communication. no face to face. it's fated. you know how life could be so cruel. so cruel that you want to destroy all hope. that thing called fate - i want to smash it. and burn it. those hungry flames, so wanting to consume that invisible thing that's destroying everybody's life.
maybe it's not fate. it's him.
/ihopped at
1:40 AM
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